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Christmas Card Peer Pressure!
Each
year I vow to quit sending out bundles of Christmas cards and the
"Schreck Family Letter." Aside from shopping, shipping, wrapping,
baking for everyone except my family, the Christmas card "chore"
usually turned me into a raging maniac trying to get them out in time.
This
year my husband placed a ban on Christmas card mailings and I
finally agreed. He said it's simply an evil plot
by Hallmark and American Greetings to place undue pressure on
overstressed Americans at Christmas time.
But
then, this week it happened. One by one, the Christmas cards
came, the letters unfolded and spilled out details about each
family's life that only a grandparent would understand or care
about. I received more photos of unknown children
than the frame department in Target. Each one
placed more and more pressure on me to respond.
Yesterday,
December 21st, I finally caved to the Christmas card peer
pressure! Perhaps it was the winter solstice, or
the Pillsbury slice and eat (I mean slice and bake)
cookie dough, but I couldn't hold back. I told my
husband it was like someone standing at your front door looking
right at you through the window and you
pretending not to be home. How could I NOT send a
Christmas card to someone who has taken the time to mail us a
picture of total strangers posing next to a tree wearing matching
sweaters?
I
decided I would send a card out and include a copy of an
unknown family--I figured we hadn't taken a picture and no one would
probably notice any way. I printed the words, "Place Photo
Here" across it just to add a bit of humor, and then I ran
off black and white copies to insert into a card.
My
family swore they would quit speaking to me if I
sent the cards out like that. They didn't realize that this
threat of silence would be my greatest motivation! I
mailed out 87 cards but I did skip the annual "Schreck Family
Letter," so the photo will go unexplained.
Perhaps next year I'll be stronger.
Merry Christmas from the Schreck Family.
WISE CRACKS!
When you don't know what you're talking about, it's hard to know when you're finished. ~ Tommy Smothers
My
grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty.
She's ninety-seven now and we don't where in the world she is. ~Ellen DeGeneres
A friend and I were talking about marriage and one of us said the word, "monogamy." My
youngest daughter was sitting near by and she piped in with,
"We have that game and it's the new SHREK version." ~ Gina Schreck
‘Tis Better to Receive Than to Give
I know the saying usually goes, "'Tis
better to give than to receive," but when we learn to truly receive a
gift, that is a wonderful gift in itself.
I was raised by a single mom who did
most everything for herself and growing up as the oldest of four, I
learned to be self-sufficient as well, so asking someone else to change
a tire, or a light bulb never crossed my mind. I
was always amazed when my co-workers or friends would complain that
their husbands would not complete the list of “honey-do’s” they had
prepared. I wondered why they couldn’t do most of what was on the list, themselves.
When I married Kirk, he taught me something about the gift of receiving. I didn’t ask for help opening jars, changing light bulbs, fixing a broken belt on the vacuum or putting new furniture together. I simply took out my “Lady Tool Kit” (complete with a pink handled hammer, screwdrivers and pliers) and went at it.
Kirk came to me
one day and said it bothered him that I didn’t “need” him, or ask for
his help in anything (except for killing spiders!!).
I was stunned! I thought I was being the perfect wife. When he did something for me or bought me a gift, I would often reply with “You didn’t have to do that.” Perhaps I didn’t feel worthy of such a gift, or was I was implying I could have done it for myself.
Fortunately, early in our marriage, I learned how to receive help and gifts of love from Kirk. I
learned that it is okay to be vulnerable at times, and more
importantly, I learned that in relationships, it is good to need each
other.
When we give a gift, we are in control. When
we can meet a need or even a want for someone else, we feel powerful
and some even give with the intent of “getting” something in
return—even if it is favor in the eyes of the other.
To receive a gift with grace and gratitude requires us to be humble and even helpless in a way. To allow another to provide a need for us says we are in some ways, dependent upon others.
During this season where gift-giving is celebrated, remember that God gave us the greatest gift…His Son. Open your heart and humbly remember sometimes it is better to receive than to give!
Traditions
Cutting down live trees and bringing them inside to decorate before they die. Taking
small children to sit on the lap of a very odd-looking stranger and
then trying to take their picture in between the child's pleas for help. Spending all day baking sweets with love and care for everyone except the one’s you truly love and care for. These are some of the traditions many of us hold to.
In the classic movie, Fiddler on the Roof, Tevye, a poor Jewish milkman, sings about tradition. He says without traditions the people would be as shaky “as a fiddler on the roof.” As his daughters fight to break free of many family traditions (as many children do), Tevye feels unbalanced.
Unbalanced is probably a good way to
describe most people this time of the year—okay it describes most
people, most any time of the year and yet the holidays are rich
with tradition, if we take time and care to preserve them.
We remember the way things were as a child. We
try and recreate certain memories like going to Grandma’s house for
Christmas Eve dinner, Christmas caroling and hot cocoa, or reading the
Christmas story on Christmas Eve before opening that one special gift.
Many of us crave the stability that traditions can bring, even though they often come with a bit of a hassle.
Sadly, many of us have lost the sense of tradition. Is it due to the fact that families are spread all over the globe, or have we simply become too busy for such traditions? Perhaps this is why many of us live “as shaky as a fiddler on the roof.”
Traditions are like cords that tie us to our past and give a sense of security in the present.
When Kirk and I were married, we sat down and made a list of traditions that we wanted to preserve or create in our family. Our children hold us to many of the traditions, like making candy trees each year that decorate one room in the house. It
is a mess and often involves great pain from the hot-glue gun burns
that each of us are sure to get when applying the hard candy to a
Styrofoam cone, but it is a tradition. We label
each tree with the makers name and the year, so the girls can take them
with them when they get their own house (that is Kirk’s hope at least).
Another fun tradition, that raises
questions and comments from visitors during the month of December, is
the traveling nativity we create. We place Mary, Joseph and the donkey somewhere in the house and each day the kids move them a bit closer to their destination. Bethlehem is usually located somewhere near the fireplace where the angel, shepherds, and barn animals are there waiting.
Baby Jesus is
hidden until Christmas Eve and the three magi begin their journey after
Christmas to join the scene around December 28th. It
is always fun, but can be dangerous when Mary and Joseph have to make
their way up a staircase and people are trying to dodge them when
coming up or down the stairs.
What traditions do you and your family preserve? Is it time to create a few new ones? Remember the fiddler. Remember the cord of tradition. Sit down tonight and make a list of traditions that you can celebrate throughout the year.
IT'S HERE!
IT'S HERE!
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ASK
BOB
A Regular Column on Relationships by Man's Best Friend
Q: I am in the dog-house and thought you could probably help. My wife thinks my mother is very controlling and the two of them have never really gotten along well.
She has accused my mother of
making mean comments about her parenting skills along with other
things. The holidays seem to cause the most problems since my parents
come to stay with us for a couple weeks.
I have
asked my wife to be nice to my parents and just lay low for the few
days we get to spend with them, after all, it is Christmas. She says I should back her up and I feel this is selfish. Any advice on how I can help her deal with this?
A: In the
dog world we leave our mothers by eight weeks old, but it sounds
as if you are still attached and need to be weaned.
When you get married, you leave your mother and father and become one with your wife. You
cannot side with your mother and allow her treat your bride with
disrespect, regardless of how little time you see her each year.
You
better have a stern talk with your mother and tell her how you expect
her to treat your wife or you can ask her to build a bigger dog
house in her backyard for you to move into!
Q. Bob, I hate this time of the year. All the focus on spending money and gathering with people you wouldn’t spend time with any other time. It just seems so forced. Maybe I am becoming more like Ebenezer Scrooge. Aside
from visiting with the ghosts of Christmas past, present and
future, is there anything you can suggest for beating the holiday blues?
A. I am saddened by your letter. There
are so many things to be grateful for, and so many people that are in
need of human connection, that for you to spend time with people you
don’t care for is sad indeed. Perhaps visits from
your Christmas ghosts would help you see these things differently, but
in case they don’t show up, try a couple of these tips:
- Volunteer your time at a shelter, a nursing home or hospital. Getting
outside of yourself will bring perspective to your problems and you
will surely benefit more than the people you are there to help.
- Count your blessings. Sit down with a cup of coffee or hot cocoa and write down all you have to be grateful for. From
your health, warm house, and several options of clothing to select from
each day to the freedom we have in our country to travel, worship and
work in a vocation that we chose. (I mean where else can a dog get
a job writing a column?)
- Search for your purpose. All of us have a purpose and to live unintentionally or accidentally is a waste of so many gifts you have in your possession. What have your experiences prepared you to do in this lifetime? What legacy will you leave? Try reading Rick Warren’s, Purpose Driven Life, and then call me if you don’t feel differently in forty days.
Bob "Barker" is the faithful companion to
the Schreck family and resides in Littleton, Colorado. Like most
dogs, Bob is a relationship expert and would love to answer your
questions. Just send mail to Bob@schrecktalk.com
Christmas Trivia
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What kind of tidings are offered in "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen?"
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How many times is the word "Noel" repeated in "The First Noel?"
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In "Winter Wonderland" what two things will we pretend Mr. Snowman is?
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What popular Christmas song was actually written for Thanksgiving?
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In the Ukraine, what does it mean if you find a spider web in the house on Christmas morning?
A. Sickness will come to your home.
B. Good luck in the coming year.
C. Company is coming.
D. It is time to call an exterminator.
P O W
(Pearls of Wisdom)
Prepare your mind to receive the best that life has to offer. ~Ernest Holmes
Friendship is unnecessary, like
philosophy, like art...It has no survival value; rather it is one of
those things that give value to survival. ~C.S.Lewis
Peace begins with a smile. ~ Mother Teresa
Monthly Challenge!
Awaken Your Inner Child
This Month!
- Make a list of the best times you have had in the past few years and then commit to do them again in 2005.
- Take a walk (with or without a child) and walk slowly taking in every detail. Look for interesting rocks and leaves. Stop to examine bugs or cloud formations.
- Cut out paper snowflakes and hang them from the ceiling or tape them to your windows for the month of January.
- Make breakfast for dinner.
- Before
putting away your holiday decorations write your goals for 2005 on a
slip of paper and tuck the paper into your stocking or ornament box to
pullout next November.
- Write a children’s story about something you did as a child. Don’t worry about making it look like a real book, just get it down in writing.
- Find a place to go ice-skating.
Answers to Trivia
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Comfort and Joy
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21 times. Four times at the end of each of the five stanzas, plus one in the first line of he first stanza.
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Parson Brown and a circus clown
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Jingle Bells
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Good Luck--There
once lived a woman so poor, says a Ukrainian folk tale, that she could
not afford Christmas decorations for her family. One Christmas morning,
she awoke to find that spiders had trimmed her children's tree with
their webs. When the morning sun shone on them, the webs turned to
silver and gold. An artificial spider and web are often included in the
decorations on Ukrainian Christmas trees.
© 2004
Feel free to forward this to all of your friends, family members and even those you don’t particularly care for!
It may not be sung in a high school play,
written in sand on beaches west of Belize or photocopied without our permission though, so for reprint permission, please call 303-978-0887.
"Random Thoughts" is a monthly email distributed by The Pinnacle Group & SchreckTalk Keynotes. www.Schrecktalk.com
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