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Are we too competitive?
Are you a little competitive? Would you consider yourself a RAGING MANIAC when it comes to a good competition? Welcome to Competitors Anonymous.
You
are competitive if you compete as you drive on the freeway--you know,
you pick a car in front of you and pretend it is the Indy 500.
You are competitive if you believe that the rule in driving is simply to catch up to the car in front of you and close the gap!
You know you are a raging maniac when you find yourself trying to take down your eight-year old in a game of GUESSTURES.
We
have family game night at my house once a week and my husband has
actually banned me from playing for a month because of what he called,
EXCESSIVE CELEBRATION.
Okay so maybe I shouldn't have pushed her so hard when my team got the word, "HUDDLE!" I get a little out of control when I play games. But it's all in fun, right?
They say men are typically more competitive than women, but I think we just compete differently.
Last
weekend I entered a Tae Kwon Do sparring competition--well, a friend of
mine had signed up and when she became ill, she asked if I would take
her spot so she wouldn't lose the registration money. What's a friend to do? I couldn't see her lose forty dollars!
I thought, “How hard could this be?” I had been taking lessons for a couple years and enjoyed the exercise in the sparring matches. It would be fun!
WELL...no one told me that they are out for blood in these competitions!
As I
sat stretching before my match I watched this young “man boy,” maybe
eighteen or twenty, throwing punches and kicking to warm up and he
looked MAD! He looked over to his opponent and said under his breath, "Prepare to die!"
DIE? What was he talking like this for...it's just a friendly game right? Wasn't this all about exercise and FUN? I
wanted to go out there and spank him or at least put him in time out
for poor sportsmanship, but thought they might throw me out.
I leaned over to a woman sitting next to me and whispered, "Who is he? Inigo Montoya from the Princess Bride, here to avenge his father's death?" And then I asked, "Did you ever see that movie?" She
started laughing and said she loved that movie. Her favorite line
was "My name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father. Prepare to
die!" We sat there like the old Siskel and Ebert duo,
chatting about that classic movie.
I was
in the middle of telling her that I had watched The Princess Bride at
least 50 times, when all of a sudden, my coach pulled me back and said,
"She is not your friend! She is the enemy! That is who you will be fighting in a few minutes!"
Enemy?! What is everyone talking crazy for? This is just for FUN!
And at that moment, the young man-boy threw a kick to his opponent’s head and it landed right on his nose! Blood was spurting out everywhere and by the sound of it, it was broken for sure.
Oh my goodness, what did I sign up for? Was this some secret underground fight club and only one person was supposed to come out alive?
Did my husband secretly arrange for me to be here when he was out of town to teach me a lesson? I'm not that competitive!
I started praying. Please don't let me bleed too much. I just got this uniform and blood is so hard to get out. Lord I will be nice when we play card games at home from now on!
I looked over at my secret movie pal, Siskel, now with fear in my face. Luckily she had the same look in her eyes.
Fortunately for both of us, there is a lot less rage, stamina, and oxygen for that matter, in the over forty women's division.
We both went out to the middle. We shook hands and bowed. When
they said "Sijak" which means "begin" in Korean, but always reminds me
of Pat Sajak and makes me want to buy a vowel, we began.
Punch, kick, punch...huff, puff, huff puff. Kick kick kick. Whew, huff, puff. I
don't know what it looked like from the side, but it definitely didn't
feel like the ultimate fighting match we had just seen before us.
All of a sudden, Siskel threw a pretty solid punch at my chest, and then she immediately said, "Oh, sorry!"
I busted up. I
laughed at the thought of us, two ladies who should be exchanging movie
reviews and recipes for desserts, out here punching and kicking each
other and then apologizing for it.
I laughed so hard, my mouthpiece came flying out onto the mat and then she started laughing. She said at least it wasn't my teeth! I got a side cramp. They had to call time so we could compose ourselves.
We
finished the two rounds and the score was 8 points to 4--I
won. At the end of the match, I hugged Siskel and had someone
take a picture of the two of us on the medal stand
together. I took home a gold medal and made a new
friend. It was FUN!
I only wish I had video taped the match so perhaps my husband would lift the ban on my playing in game night!
THE UMBRELLA MAN
Sometimes in life we run at such as
pace that it exhausts even the bystanders. When I think of all
that has to be done in a day or a week, I sometimes get an overwhelming
feeling that drains my body of energy, but I crossed paths with a man
recently who has helped me slow down for a bit and enjoy the
scenery.
I stood on the bustling corner with my
daughters in Santa Cruz, California one Sunday afternoon. There
was a woman playing a guitar across the street and singing so off-key
that we laughed. There was a man napping under a tree a few feet
away and a nice California breeze keeping everyone cool and
comfortable.
We were on a mission to find a place to
eat after a busy day playing at the beach, walking on the boardwalk and
going on several rides. I stood on this corner surveying the
choices I could see on both sides when something caught my
attention. There was a man carrying an umbrella. An open
umbrella. He was inching down the sidewalk.
It was not raining and at six o'clock
in the evening it was no longer very sunny, so carrying an open
umbrella seemed a little out of the ordinary--if there is such a thing
as "ordinary" in Santa Cruz, California. This alone may not have
caused me to stop and stare, but the way he was walking put me into a
trance.
He was taking baby-steps. Little
half steps. Moving maybe five or six inches at a time.
There was something mesmerizing about the "Umbrella Man" in his nice
pink pants, bright flowered shirt and baseball cap. He had a
smile on his face that told me he was taking in every sight,
sound and smell.
This stranger had no idea the impact he
made on me that afternoon. I could not stop thinking about the
Umbrella Man. Was he really going too slow, or was the rest of
the world simply moving too fast?
Perhaps you need to slow down this week and have an Umbrella Man day!
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ASK BOB
A Regular Column on Relationships by Man's Best Friend
Q: Bob,
this is more of a question on self-esteem. After reading last
months "Random Thoughts" about taking risk and going for it, I thought
a lot about why I still hold back in many areas of my life. I
haven't been successful in relationships (always attracting the
undesireables) and I seem to be stalling out in my career as
well. I know I struggle with low self-esteem, but I
can't erase my past. Any advice?
A: First
let me say that you made a very wise statement when you said you
can't erase your past. You can, however, let it go and draw
a line in the sand of your life. Someone once said, "The past is
a nice place to visit, but you don't want to live there." Being
part miniature dachshund, I have also struggled with "low" self-esteem,
but one day I asked myself what I wanted to be. I knew it
was time to make new choices and take new action. Not only
do you need to figure out who you want to become, but you need to
surround yourself with others who can support that vision. Don't
spend your time with people who pick you apart and tell you what you
cannot do. Find a circle of friends that are uplifting and
positive. Fill your head with positive messages and stay focused
on your goals like, pardon the expression, but like a dog with a
bone.
As for the poor relationships, people tend to be
attracted to people they feel they deserve. You may even feel
that the nice guys are not your type. Make a list of your good
qualities--all of them. Learn to focus only on your positive
traits. You deserve the best and you shouldn't try so hard to
bring someone else into the picture until you truly love
yourself. Work on making YOU the best YOU imaginable,
and you will find others attracted to this new positive person.
I would also recommend reading INSIDE OUT SUCCESS: Reconnecting with What Matters Most, by one of my best friends, Gina Schreck--it's available at www.amazon.com (Maybe
I'll get an extra treat for mentioning her book!) It is filled with
helpful exercises on examining your negative beleifs and creating
new, more positive paths to take. You are who you think you
are...So who do you think you are?
Bob "Barker" is the faithful companion to
the Schreck family and resides in Littleton, Colorado. Like most
dogs, Bob is a relationship expert and would love to answer your
questions. Just send mail to Bob@schrecktalk.com
TRIVIA
1. What is a group of Jellyfish called?
A) A smack B) A jumble C) A mob D) A school
2. What is the Olympic Motto?
A) Go big or go home! B) To our countries, the best!
C) Swifter Higher Stronger D) Friendship through Sportsmanship
(answers at the bottom)
P O W
(Pearls of Wisdom)
We
all need to be aware that each day, with each person we meet, we serve
as a source of inspiration to them or as a warning! Which are you?
"Know your limits, not so that you can honor them, but so that you can smash them to pieces and reach for magnificence." - Cherie Carter-Scott
"When composing the notes of your life, realize that some of the notes require pauses." - Unknown
"The most wasted day of all is that on which we have not laughed." -Nicolas Chamfort
How long is eternity? This is one of my husband's favorite question to ponder. Here is the story he tells us about eternity: "There
is a giant rock, one mile high by one mile wide and one mile
thick. A tiny red finch comes to the rock only
once a year and pecks at it, and then flies away. When that
rock is pecked down to nothing, one day in eternity will have
passed."
Monthly Challenge!
Who has crossed your path and made
a difference in your life? Take time this month to write them a
short note or pick up the phone and tell them.
Look for the Beauty in Your Own Backyard!
What are three things you are grateful for today?
I am
grateful for all the wonderful people I have met this year who, even
without knowing it, have inspired me and kept me energized when I
should have dropped from exhaustion!
I am grateful for a family to come home to. I love when they yell, "Mommy's home!"
I'm grateful for a life that allows me to do what I am passionate about and somehow get money for doing it!
WISE CRACKS!
Nothing
I learned in school prepared me for life. My first book should have
read, "See Dick balance his checkbook. See Jane leave an unhealthy
relationship. Run Jane run!" -Kate Mason
My
parents home-schooled me when I was in second grade. But one thing they
didn't take into consideration was that they both worked all day. - Mary Gallagher
I work for myself, which is fun. Except for when I call in sick, I know I'm lying! - Rita Rudner
© 2004
Feel free to forward this to all of your friends, family members and even those you don’t particularly care for!
It may not be sung in a high school play,
written in sand on beaches west of Belize or photocopied without our permission though, so for reprint permission, please call 303-978-0887.
"Random Thoughts" is a monthly email distributed by The Pinnacle Group & SchreckTalk Keynotes. www.Schrecktalk.com
TRIVIA ANWERS:
1. A Smack
2. Swifter, Higher, Stronger
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