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Relax... It's Summer!
Call Me a Slacker!
As a teenager, you are very susceptible to
peer-pressure. I can remember trying out for my first
cheerleading squad at the age of twelve, not because I wanted
to, not because I loved to dance, and certainly not because I
was coordinated, but because my friends did. I jumped from a
60-foot beach cliff into water because someone dared me at
age 14. I also walked across 30-feet of burning
coals barefoot just because everyone else was doing it--okay, so that
was just a few years ago, but peer-pressure is still putting the
squeeze on me.
As a parent I try to warn my own children
about the pressure they will encounter with their friends, but
then I realize that I need this advice too. Parents
pressure each other into a competitive frenzy about
making sure your child is going to the best school, spending every week
at a competitive sports camp or that you are drilling them with flash
cards and pumping Mozart into your infant's head even before
birth. What did Mozart's mother let her belly listen to? Did
Einstein really use flash cards as a
toddler?
Last week a parent from my daughters soccer team
approached me to ask why I have never signed up to "work
BINGO." "Working BINGO" means you forfeit your Friday or
Saturday night to WORK in a smoke-filled BINGO hall selling
BINGO cards and cleaning up after these hard-core gamblers, making
sure Aunt Mable and Cousin Ernie are not cheating
and all this work to earn $40 that goes toward your
daughters $1,200+ soccer account. I told her I actually
preferred spending my free nights going out with my husband
where people were not yelling out letters and numbers, and
besides, if anyone should be working, it should be our daughters,
but hey--call me a slacker.
Another parent at my other daughter's school
asked if I was going to bake anything for the upcoming bake-sale
and I said Target makes a mean German Chocolate cake that I would
be bringing. She shook her head in disgust. This
is the same mother who spent hours baking a brisket to bring to my
house when we hosted a team dinner and could not believe I opened five
containers of shredded pork and threw them into a crockpot and then had
the nerve to call it an entrée. "I'm a slacker," I told her. I believe
the four food groups are Bagged, Canned, Frozen and Boxed.
Sure I get a little embarrassed when parents begin
discussing the latest in school curriculum and when they want to know
where I stand on our schools using Saxton math concepts versus some
other curriculum, I usually have to resort to some witty come back
like, "I stand right next to the cookie jar." Which they usually don't
find witty at all. But I am more concerned that my children have good
manners and develop a sense of humor about life to deal with uptight
people who are concerned about whether schools should be using Saxton
math or not.
Call me a slacker, but as long as my kids can outrun
me and they are doing math that I can't even figure out with a
calculator, I say the schools are doing a darn good job
in the math department!
TRIVIA
1. Before being embalmed, mummies were placed in what for 40 days?
A. straw
B. Peanut butter
C. The sun
D. Salt
2. What is the real name of U2's lead singer Bono?
A.Kermit Smith
B. Jim Manson
C. Kal Woodan
D. Paul Hewson
3. What is considered to be the most nutritious fruit?
A. Granny Smith apple
B. Avocado pear
C. Banana
D. Fruit snacks
4. In which American state is Mammoth Cave, the world's longest cave?
A. California
B. Kentucky
C. Hawaii
D. Utah
Who Are You and What Are You Doing Here?
A Rabbi was walking home one afternoon contemplating
his purpose. He found himself in a daze, and not paying
attention to his path, he veered left when he should have veered
right. Before he realized his error, he ran into a tall stone
wall, belonging to the king's palace. As he scratched his head
trying to figure out how he made such an mistake, he heard a loud
voice booming from above. "Who are you and why are you here?" It
was the palace guard from high atop the wall. This
Rabbi was accustomed to asking a question to answer
a question, so he asked, "Who would like to know?" The
guard was annoyed by this question and he hollered down, "I am the
King's guard and I demand that you tell me who you are and what you are
doing here!" Once again, with a question as an answer, the
Rabbi asked, "How much to you make to ask these questions?"
This baffled the guard. He had never
been asked that question before. In his confusion, he
answered, "The king pays me one silver coin every day to
guard his palace." The Rabbi said, "I will pay you three times that
amount if you will come, stand outside my home and ask me
those questions each day as I come and go."
Contemplate these two questions this month. Who
are you and why are you here? Many times we think in terms
of what we do or roles we play, but if you think about who you have
become and more importantly, who you would like to become, it will
direct your path. Why are you here? Have you gone through
some extraordinary circumstances? Are there things that
have happened in your life that cause you to
question WHY? Perhaps you are here to help someone else
navigate through similar territories.
I often wonder what
my children and grandchildren will remember most about me when I
am gone. Will they remember that I was fun to be around or
that I was always on their case about something. Did I
take time to play or was I too busy to have fun? Will my
co-workers be enriched by something they took away from me or will
they forget I existed?
If you want to pay me three silver coins per
day I will gladly stand outside your door and challenge you
every day!
Laugh A Little!
"I'm a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man, I keep his house." ~Zsa Zsa Gabor
"At 43, I still kick butt! I just do it in more expensive shoes." ~Unknown
"I love new age jargon. You don't have to admit to
being single. You just say, 'I'm learning to be there for myself on a
daily basis." ~Vanessa Hollingshead
"I think men who have a pierced ear are better
prepared for marriage. They have experienced pain and bought
jewelry" ~Rita Rudner
 Tony the Toenail & Other Stories to Inspire
A collection of favorite stories like Tony the
Toenail, "Beauty in your own backyard" along with plenty of new stories
like Unc and Tale with Two Sides. If you are tired of chicken soup but
love a good story, this will hit the spot!
Marriage Mechanic 
Does your relationship need a "Tune
Up?"Get ready for Sparks with Marriage Mechanics Marriage Mechanics: A
Tune Up for the Highway of Love
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ASK BOB 
A Regular Column on Relationships by Man's Best Friend
Q: Hi
Bob. My co-workers and I have a problem we hope you can help us with.
Our manager is a horrible communicator. He doesn't think before he
barks out commands and he says things that are perceived as bossy or
just mean. We fear bringing concerns to him because he tells
us we are wrong or retorts back insisting he knows that his way will
work. We also fear he will retaliate with extra work or the cold
shoulder. He holds us to standards that he does not adhere to and we
are losing talented people because they cannot get along with him.
Help--I like what I do and I don't want to get another job.
A: Well
just the fact that this manager "barks out commands" tells me he isn't
all that bad. Perhaps he has never had the proper training. You can't
blame a disobedient dog who has never gone through obedience school. I
think someone (or a group of someone's) needs to confront him in a
rational manner to explain how his behavior is affecting the team.
Some people communicate with little or
no regard to how others will "feel" about it, while others put a great
deal of emphasis on making sure everyone feels good about everything. A
good communicator will think ahead enough to consider how people may
perceive a message and make necessary adjustments. Another important
communication/conflict management technique is to be sure and add in
"Flex Phrases" when communicating during emotional times. Words and
phrases such as "I feel..." "I believe this would benefit ..." "I think
we should..." or "In my opinion..."
My suggestion is to write down your
concerns with very specific examples of each. Take some time to
consider what you would like to see the outcome to look like.
Specifically. You can agree as a team to bring it up in a meeting or
select a spokesperson. Be careful when bringing it up in a meeting,
that you don't ambush your manager. You all have taken the time to
prepare, but he may become defensive and try to trigger your emotions.
Use factual statements such as, "When you said ____, I felt _____. I
would like to feel as if I can ____." Instead of asking questions such
as, "Do you think we could...?" Make a statement. "I feel we should
____, because it will _____."
The last strategy I have for you
is to come up with a list of guidelines as a team to avid future
problems. You cannot do this in times of anger or high
emotions, but instead choose a time when everyone can openly discuss
guidelines for effectively communicating with one another. This
should begin with, "We agree to: Listen without
interrupting; openly discuss ideas and differing opinions;
etc."
If these do not work out for you,
send me an e-mail and I will give you the name of a wonderful animal
behavioralist that I met at PetSmart. She wrote the book on
Positive Pet Training and I'm sure it would work for managers as
well.
Q:
I have a co-worker who cannot be brief with his communications.
He calls to discuss one topic and goes on and on repeating several
points he has already made. He constantly complains that he can't
get all of his work done because he has so much on his plate, but I
know that it is because he just rambles on and on with people, wasting
everyone's time. I am about to pull my hair out and I know others
here feel the same way because we all have a code to bail each other
out if we see that this person is coming to talk. He is a very
nice man and I would hate to hurt his feelings, but how can we get
anything done with him taking 2 hours to discuss a 10-minute
problem? What can I do?
A: Buy him a dog. He just needs someone who will listen to him.
Bob "Barker" is the faithful
companion to the Schreck family and resides in Littleton, Colorado.
Like most dogs, Bob is a relationship expert and would love to answer
your questions. Just send mail to Bob@schrecktalk.com
P O W
(Pearls of Wisdom)
"Ignorance gives one a large range of probabilities." ~George Eliot
"It is those who have a deep and real inner life who
are best able to deal with the irritating details of outer life."
~Evelyn Underhill
"I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content." ~St. Paul
"Expect nothing; live frugally on surprise." ~Alice Walker
"Bloom where you're planted." ~Mary Engelbreit
"It's difficult to think anything but pleasant thoughts while eating a good piece of chocolate." ~Gina Schreck
Did You Know...?
- August 7, 2005, 99-pound Sonja "The Black Widow"
Thomas downed 35 Bratwurst in 10 minutes to win the world title. She
couldn't have been too hungry that day since two days earlier she took
the grilled cheese championship by eating 21.5 in 10 minutes.
- In 1873 the 1st Cable car began operating in
San Francisco at five cents a ride. It is still operating today at
a thrilling 9.5 miles per hour.
- In 1909 The US government purchased the first
airplane from the Wright brothers for $25,000 and they paid a $5,000
bonus because it exceeded 40 miles per hour.
- Watching the news on television can increase stress and make you feel anxious.
- Studies show that we are drawn to people we perceive as playful!
Monthly Challenge!
Inject more FUN into your life. Here are a few ideas:
1. Sing out loud in your car or better yet, iimplement
"Singing Night" at home. Challenge your family to see if they can
spend one evening singing everything they want to communicate.
You must put every statement and question into song.
2. Turn off the television and have game night. Why not play a game of cards or Pictionary?
3.
Laugh out loud! Get one or two of your friends or family members
and challenge each other to laugh the loudest or funniest. Once
you get started, you will find yourself laughing at the fact that you
are laughing.
4. Have a Hawaiian luau before the summer
is over. Plan a Hawaiian menu or at least buy some Teriyaki
chicken and pineapple. Dress in Hawaiian garb and play some good
ol' Don Ho music.
5. Take some colored chalk and draw a masterpiece on your driveway.
6. Stop at card store and read a few of the humorous cards.
7. Place smile-inducing or laughter-prompting photos around your home and office.
Answers to Trivia
1. D salt
2. A Paul Hewson
3. B The Avocado Pear
4. B Kentucky
© 2005
Feel free to forward this to all of your friends, family members and even those you don’t particularly care for!
It may not be sung in a high school
play, written in sand on beaches west of Belize or photocopied without
our permission though, so for reprint permission, please call
303-978-0887.
"Random Thoughts" is a monthly email distributed by The Pinnacle Group & SchreckTalk Keynotes. www.Schrecktalk.com |