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XOXOXOXOXO
Mermaids Need Air Too!
Growing
up in California and Hawaii I never feared the ocean. My grandparents
lived around the block and had a pool, so I spent hours in the water
pretending to be a mermaid. I would envision swimming with all of my
imaginary sea friends and many times I would tie my feet together to
make it more realistic.
In my early twenties I took up Scuba diving and during my first
lesson I met Annie. We paired up to be “dive buddies.” Annie said she
had never done anything “adventurous” in her life and as a gift to
herself on her 60th birthday she decided to take scuba lessons. We had
a great time in class, and it didn’t take long for the two of us to
become good friends.
We loved practicing the drills. My favorite was diving in with no
equipment, finding it at the bottom, and having to put it all on and
clear your mask of all the water before you resurfaced. (Amazingly, it
can be done.) I thought Annie was drowning on one occasion and I jumped
in to help her only to have her come up laughing so hard that we both
almost drowned.
Another drill we practiced hundreds of times was “buddy-breathing.”
This is where you share one regulator (the breathing mouth-piece
thingy) in the (unlikely) event one diver would run out of air 50-feet
under the sea. We had to swim up next to our “buddy,” gently tap her on
the shoulder and motion that you were out of air and needed to share.
When Annie swam up, she gave my shoulder four little taps and as the
“buddy,” I smiled and nodded my head, conveying complete understanding
and willingness to “share my air.” It was easy.
After we graduated, Annie and I signed up for a short dive cruise
together. On these cruises, you could get in two or three dives per day
and possibly a night dive wearing glow-sticks for light. I passed on
the night-dives since I saw no point in swimming in dark water, where
you couldn’t see anything until you were in striking or chomping
distance of it, but the day diving was spectacular.
On our third dive of day two, Annie and I were cruising around a
pinnacle that shot out of a great abyss. It was filled with amazing sea
creatures and brilliant colors. We had been under water for quite a
while when a group of playful seals came swimming around us. It was
like my childhood dream. I was a mermaid and my friends the seals had
come to play. It was far more incredible than any book could ever
describe or movie could portray. We were twirling and gliding right in
the midst of them and they were actually playing with us.
All of a sudden I felt something rushing up from behind me. Before I
knew what was happening, a hand reached in front of my face and grabbed
the regulator from my mouth. It was Annie. She had run out of air and
panicked. She did not swim up next to me and gently tap me on the
shoulder like we had practiced. She did not motion to me that she would
like to “buddy-breathe.” She ripped the life-source from my lips
without so much as a “please” or “pardon me!”
We struggled back and forth choking and kicking, for what seemed
like an hour. Because we were both freaking out, we didn’t think to
pump a little air into our vests, so we were actually sinking instead
of moving toward the surface. When I finally realized this I shot a
huge burst of air into my vest shooting me to the surface faster than I
should have gone up (which is another thing you are strongly urged
NEVER to do—Something about your brain exploding or your eyes popping
out of their sockets). Annie and I did make it back onto the boat
alright, and had a great story to share around the fire pit that night.
Sadly, Annie never went diving again. She hung up her air tank for
good, saying that, although that was one of the most beautiful and
exhilarating dives she had ever been on, it was too much adventure for
her.
Years later, I still think of Annie and reflect back upon all the
hours of study, the drills we practiced, and how they were all
meaningless when it came right down to it. I remember the feeling of
terror, but that memory is dulled when I recall being a mermaid for a
moment and swimming with my friends Annie and the seals (not to be
confused with Josie and the Pussycats).
I realize that life is kind of like SCUBA diving. There are no
drills that can prepare us for the real adventure that awaits us, nor
are there books that can describe the awesome beauty that lies ahead.
When we face tough or scary times (and we will), don’t quit, keep those
challenges in perspective and the good times will outshine the bad.
WISE CRACKS!
A
young woman was taking an afternoon nap. After she woke up, she told
her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for
Valentine's day. What do you think it means?"
"You'll know tonight." he said.
That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to
his wife. Delighted, she opened it--only to find a book entitled "The
meaning of dreams".
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An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her. ~Agatha Christie
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Definitions to keep handy and few thoughts from some kids on LOVE:
Cantaloupe (kant*e*lope) n. Gotta get married in a church.
Patience (pa*shens) n. The most important ingredient for dating, marriage and children. See also "tranquilizers."
What do people do on a date?
"On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually
gets them interested enough to go for a second date." -Martin, ten
years old
When is it okay to kiss someone?
"You should never kiss a girl unless you have enough bucks to buy her a
ring and her own VCR, 'cause she'll want to have videos of the
wedding." -Allan, ten years old
TRIVIA
1. What baseball player hit the only home run of his twenty-two-year major league career off his own brother?
2. Why does Mr. Spock of TV's Star Trek have green skin?
3. How many years of schooling did Benjamin Franklin have?
4. When lions and tigers mate, what do you call their cubs? (Any Napoleon Dynamite fan will know this!)
5. How many bee trips from flower to hive does it take to make a pound of honey?
What do Men look for on a first date?*
Through
the years we have talked with thousands of men about what they look for
in a first date. A 38-year old CEO gave us this checklist, which pretty
much sums it up.
· Does she complain about men?
· Do I like her clothes and her sense of style?
· Can she speak intelligently about more than one thing (such as her job)?
· Is she emotionally available or is she still talking about her ex a lot? (very important)
· Can she maintain eye-contact? Is she nervous? Is there some energy between us or is it flat?
*Excerpt from the It’s Just a Lunch “Guide to Dating”.
Hey Listen Up Girls!
Here are three things men want more of, straight from the Association of Marriage Counselors:
· First, guys want an ego boost. No surprise,
right? It may seem like caveman stuff to some women, but men want to be
the providers, the heroes, the man of the house – even if you wear the
pants. So, throw your guy a bone every now and then, and tell him he’s
doing a good job. Take the time to tell him you are proud of what he
does.
· Next, don’t tell men how to dress. I hate to go
here, because my husband is the fashion KING! He gives me fashion
advice and always looks great, but there are many guys who struggle
with fashion sense. While there are times to give a helpful prompt
(like laying out a new pair of slacks and a dress shirt if you are
going to a wedding) there are also times you can just let your guy wear
his stained t-shirt with his sweatpants. If he does pull something
together that looks halfway decent, be sure to give him a compliment.
· Men also want you to laugh. Every guy wants to
think he has a good sense of humor, and men want to be reminded that
there’s more to life than the mortgage and the kids. So, laugh at your
husband’s jokes, especially when you’re out with friends. It’ll make
him feel like Jerry Seinfeld - and everyone knows a woman likes a man
with a good sense of humor.
Now Listen Up Guys!
Here are a few things your sweetheart would love to hear come out of your mouth:
· How Was Your Day? Simple enough, right? But it’s
amazing how often guys forget to ask. She might just need to vent a
little about her unreasonable boss or gloat a bit about an
accomplishment. (Warning: Don’t offer a solution to any of her
problems, unless she asks for your input.)
· Could You Help Me? Women are typically nurturers
they are generally programmed to want to take care of you. Plus they’re
flattered if you ask their advice about anything, because it means you
respect their opinion.
· I love how you _____. (Fill in the blank.)
Everyone enjoys hearing “I Love You,” but it’s even nicer to hear
something specific. You might love the way her nose crinkles up when
she’s happy or the way she laughs harder at your jokes than at anything
else. Women love to hear about the little idiosyncrasies that you love
most about them.
 Tony the Toenail & Other Stories to Inspire
A collection of favorite stories like Tony the Toenail, "Beauty
in your own backyard" along with plenty of new stories like Unc and
Tale with Two Sides. If you are tired of chicken soup but love a
good story, this will hit the spot!
Marriage Mechanic 
Does your relationships need a "Tune Up?"Get ready for Sparks with
Marriage Mechanics Marriage Mechanics: A Tune Up for the Highway of
Love
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ASK BOB 
A Regular Column on Relationships by Man's Best Friend
Q: I tend to be a high
stress person and I admit that conflict is no stranger in my
relationships. I feel it is important to open up and talk about
problems when they arise, but I tend to get involved with people who
don’t open up and communicate well and this causes me more stress. I
usually end up yelling or snapping at those that I care about. What can
I do to help my loved ones open up so this doesn’t happen?
A: Some people say I have
an anger management problem (usually our cleaning lady, Lilly, and
those mean people at Petsmart who cut my toenails), but when it comes
to interacting with people I care for, this old dog has learned a few
new tricks.
The good news is that you realize that your stress may have
something to do with the conflict in your life. Learning to manage
conflict more effectively is an important skill for everyone. In any
relationship—professional or personal—Your goal should be to speak so
others will listen and listen so others will speak.
If you are under heavy stress you will tend to have less patience
for listening and of course you will snap more quickly when others do
not meet your expectations. If you get mad easily, people around you
learn not to open up and share anything, out of fear.
Practice these three steps to improve your conflict management skills:
#1 Stay calm in stressful situations. Take a deep breath or get a drink of water when you feel your blood pressure rise.
#2 Tell the other person you truly want to understand their point of view. Ask them to share their feelings or their view of the situation.
#3 (Most difficult) LISTEN! Don’t interrupt or get defensive.
Try and see the situation from their point-of-view even if you don’t
agree. Remember you don’t have to agree with someone to listen to them!
If you interrupt or start yelling, stop and apologize. “I’m sorry for
interrupting. I really want to understand where you are coming from.”
This may take some practice, but if this old dog can do it, so can you!
Bob "Barker" is the faithful companion to
the Schreck family and resides in Littleton, Colorado. Like most dogs,
Bob is a relationship expert and would love to answer your questions.
Just send mail to Bob@schrecktalk.com
Great Tip for Travelers
Have
you ever been stuck on a 3-hour flight in a seat that did not recline,
or worse—you discover you have the seat next to the toilets?
Talk about a long flight! I’ve been tempted to break out those little yellow oxygen masks.
Here’s a great tip for picking your seats (and I’m not talking
wedgies here): After booking your flight, note the type of plane you’ll
be on and then go to seatguru.com to find helpful information on seats,
power ports and just how small is that airplane. It has the actual
layout of the planes and then shows which seats are “Good” “Fair” or
“Poor”.
Another tip is to always ask when you check in if there are any
better seats available. Be sure to have a smile on your face and a
pleasant tone of voice—The grumpy people get that “special seat” near
the toilets!
HELPFUL HINTS
From America's Favorite Domestic Diva*
(*See story below!)
1. Here’s a good reason to eat cold pizza – Do you reheat your
takeout food in the same container? If it’s made of plastic or
Styrofoam, stop. Plastic exposed to high heat releases toxic chemicals
that can cause your cells to mutate and become cancerous. Instead, heat
your food in glass containers and cover them with a paper towel instead
of plastic wrap. That’s the advice of Loma Linda University Hospital.
2. Quick clean up for that blender. In our house smoothies and
shakes are a favorite so waiting for the blender to run through the
dishwasher isn't fast enough. Simply squirt a little dish washing soap
into the blender with warm water. Replace the lid and let 'er rip! The
blender will clean itself.
Domestic Diva I am NOT!
I
have never been known for my incredible culinary skills or impeccable
housekeeping abilities. I look for short cuts like salad in a bag and I
love anything that is pop and fresh. I also use things like apple-spice
air fresheners and cinnamon roll candles to create the illusion of
being a Domestic Diva, although I often wonder who I'm fooling.
Last week I had to clean our ovens, and unlike generations before, I
do not scour or scrape the frozen pizza cheese from the bottom, and I
do not spray and soak the Stouffer’s lasagna sauce from the racks. I
simply push the button that says “Auto Clean” and go to bed.
The biggest problem is the strong odor that is emitted when the oven
is cleaning. Years ago I read in some helpful hints in housekeeping
guide (and I believe I suggested it to you in last month's Random
Thoughts) to throw in a few cinnamon sticks and cloves before starting
the cleaning process and your house would smell as if you had really
baked those cinnamon rolls you picked up at Target.
So last night, that is precisely what I did.
Our family was having “game night” and we were playing charades. It
was Bailey’s turn and she was waving her arms in the air, trying to get
us to guess a PERSON, when Taylor said rather calmly,
“There’s a fire in the oven.”
“NO! It’s a PERSON” I said to her, disappointed in her game playing abilities.
“No there are giant flames inside the top oven” she said with a
little more excitement in her voice as she pointed to the kitchen.
We all jumped up and ran to see. Bailey grabbed the dogs and started screaming, “Our house is on fire!”
I knew immediately it was the cinnamon sticks and I moved swiftly to the ovens and turned them both off.
The flames quickly died, but now my cover was blown. My family stood
and watched me pull the charred twigs from the smoke, wondering what
had happened.
I had to fess up—I had not actually spent the day baking that cinnamon apple cake we had for dessert.
Kirk told me to hang up my apron and not to quit my day job!
TALK ABOUT A LONG COURTSHIP!
Ken became Barbie's boyfriend in 1961! No wonder she finally dumped him--Commit already Ken!
P O W
(Pearls of Wisdom)
"Dreaming permits each and every one of us to be quietly and safely insane every night of our lives." ~ William Dement"
Good manners are a combination of intelligence, education, taste and
style mixed together so that you don’t need any of those things." ~P.J.
O’Rourke
"I have noticed that the people who are late are often much jollier than the people who have to wait for them." ~ E.V. Lucas
"Clothes and manners do not make the man; but when he is made, they greatly improve his appearance." ~ Arthur Ashe
"Remember to not only say the right thing in the right place, but
far more difficult still, is to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the
tempting moment." ~Benjamin Franklin
Monthly Challenge!
To Fan the Flames of Love:
1. Read a book of poetry together by the fire!
2. Have a pic nic dinner or dessert on your living room floor--if you have dogs or kids, move the pic nic to your bedroom!
3. Make a list of the wonderful memories you have with your beloved.
My Mr. Romance, Kirk, just did this for our anniversary and we sat and
laughed at some of the wonderful times we have had--that's romantic!
4. Put a sticky note somewhere your loved one will find it during
the day and have a little stick figure drawing on it or a kiss mark
from you to them.
Answers to Trivia
1. Joe Niekro in 1976. Niekro, a pitcher with the Houston Astros,
hit a four-bagger off his brother Phil, who was pitching for the
Atlanta Braves. Houston won 4-3.
2. Because of traces of nickel and copper in his blood.
3. Two--one year in grammar school and one with a private teacher.
4. Ligers when the father is a lion; Tigons or tiglons when the
father is a tiger. (In the recent teen movie Napoleon Dynamite, he says
the Liger is his favorite animal!)
5. Forty thousand trips--It gives me a whole new appreciation for honey!
© 2005
Feel free to forward this to all of your friends, family members and even those you don’t particularly care for!
It may not be sung in a high school play, written in
sand on beaches west of Belize or photocopied without our permission
though, so for reprint permission, please call 303-978-0887.
"Random Thoughts" is a monthly email distributed by The Pinnacle Group & SchreckTalk Keynotes. www.Schrecktalk.com |